What's Missing from Your Adventure

TL; DR: Start acting as if you already are the person you’ll become when you reach your most ambitious goals. This week’s Tool of the Week is a step-by-step process to become that person.

You have goals you haven’t reached yet. There’s a very simple way you can fix this.

Let's say you're single and you want to change that. You've even written down the goal that you’re going to find your soulmate in the next 12 months.

Imagine you really do your homework, and you think about the qualities you want your ideal partner to have, and you've written those down too.

And finally, you complete the picture by taking action.

You’re among the top 1% who write out their goals and take specific, deliberate action. So, where’s your amazing future partner?

The Missing Piece

Now it’s possible that you and your soulmate will find each other tomorrow morning, and you’ll win the lottery in the afternoon, and the excitement will inspire you to create a masterpiece that assures you a place among the greatest artists of our century.

But if you’ve done the work and it still isn't working, you need the final ingredient.

And by the way, this doesn't just have to be for a relationship. You could have a goal to develop sixpack abs or create a million dollars in revenue.

What’s the final ingredient?

You need to transform yourself and become the person who will attract your ideal mate or reach any other goal that you set for yourself.

The Two Models of Goal Setting

 Let's back up a bit.

You have an ideal version of yourself, the kind of person you wish you were, the person you want to be. It's probably different from who you are right now.

I mean, if I were my ideal self I would be a better listener. I would also spend more time in the dojo and be less obsessed with RPGs.

This discrepancy between who you are right now and who you’ll be when you achieve all your major goals is the key to becoming that ideal person. And becoming that person is the key to hitting those goals.

You see, there are two approaches to any kind of goal. One approach is where you remain the same, and something new and beautiful gets added on to your life.

There's nothing wrong with this kind of goal, but there's a better and easier way.

Take the same goal and put it under the overarching umbrella of self-transformation. As you work towards your goal, you become a little more and more like the person you ideally want to be.

To attract your ideal partner, maybe you need to overcome your shyness and even deliberately practice having conversations with people you're attracted to. It could be time to pay more attention to the clothes you wear.

Maybe you need to take better care of your physical and mental health or get your shit together financially.

Any of these things will probably make you a happier overall. They'll almost certainly bring you closer to being that idealized version of yourself. And they will absolutely make you more attractive.

In the end, when you find your partner, you’ll already be a healthier, wealthier, more confident and attractive version of you.

This transformation is the secret to achieving any goal, but it’s also the reward.

In other words, don't think of a goal as just an isolated event. It’s not a one time achievement or a single thing that you merely obtain.

Every goal should be the beginning of a journey. And by that, I mean a rich, multifaceted experience that transforms you permanently.

Instead of picking the outcome you want and working towards it in a vacuum, think about the kind of person you would be if you had that wish fulfilled already.

And that brings me to this week’s tool.

Tool of the Week: A Step-By-Step Process to Become the Hero Who Completes Your Quest

1. Imagine yourself five years from now, one year, six months, or however long you expect it to take to achieve your goal. Imagine you’ve already reached your goal.

2. What qualities do you now have, what skills have you built? Make a list of these.

3. Look at your list and rank these qualities by level of difficulty. The hardest one, the one you need to work on the most, should be #1 on your list.

4. Think of something specific you could do this week to develop this quality.

5. Put this quality-building action in your schedule so it gets done.

6. Think about how you would behave in your day-to-day life if you had this quality.

7. Commit to doing one thing every day that’s congruent with having this quality.

As you follow these steps, you’ll get practice and experiences that will forge you and refine you and make you into that person.

The Big Question that Transforms You

As you pursue your adventure, there's a question you should constantly be asking yourself, especially when you're feeling stuck or when you have to make a tough decision:

“How would I act if I were this ideal person already?”

The ultimate key to achieving any goal is to become a greater person. And the key to becoming a greater person is to refine your mind, body, soul and spirit through adventure.

True adventures transform you into the person who achieves the goals you have, and inevitably you're going to reach them all.

That wraps it up for this week.

If you’re enjoying these rants, lessons, and tools, I would love to hear from you.

If you’re not, I would like to hear from you even more.

Reply to this email and tell me what you think, what you’d like to see in the future, or just to drop me a line about your cat.

I don’t always have the time to reply to your message, but I read every one of them.

Jacob