Not Enough Time/Money? Then Learn French!

TL; DR: Growth and experiences will bring you everything else you need. This week’s tool shows you which experience you should be seeking.

Somewhere deep in your heart, there’s something new you want to try.

Something that seems completely insane in the context of your daily life.

You’ve got bills, family, pets, car and home repairs, and a million other responsibilities that demand your time, your money, your cognitive bandwidth.

Doing something stupidly impractical, no matter how badly you want it, would just take up more resources that you don’t have right now.

But once you’ve had an adventure, something you’ve never done before, something most of the people you know haven’t done, it changes you.

You get to see how adaptable your mind and spirit really are. You realize you can learn practically anything that you set your mind to.

You’re also likely to meet other people who are doing the same crazy, impractical things you’re doing, and this normalizes the adventure.

Pretty soon, you begin to wonder what else you’re capable of. I’m about to show you.

How Dream Experiences Change You and Your Life

Let me tell you a story.

When I was 27 years old, I was saddled with student loan debt. I was working two jobs and putting in 16-hour days.

I lived a small house crowded with starving students and struggling artists.

My only transportation was a bicycle.

If you find yourself in this kind of circumstance, you probably want to make a bazillion changes in your life. So did I. And that’s why I did the only logical thing:  I auditioned for a musical.

Before I tell you about the amazing outcomes of that choice, let me give you some context.

Four years before that audition, I went on my first freight-hopping trip. I was fresh out of college, my student loans were in a grace period, and I wanted to see the world.

That journey opened my eyes to a new way of living. The first story I ever published was about that journey, and the story ended with the words, “Re-feralize the human race.”

When I came back from that trip a few weeks later, I knew that I wanted to have all kinds of unusual experiences, all kinds of unconventional adventures.

I wanted to be feral, to be wild, to live off whatever I hunted and gathered on my own.

I got what I wanted, and it impoverished me for the first half of my adult life. Then it made me rich beyond my wildest dreams.

Now let’s talk about you.

Do This When You Want More Out of Life

You wouldn't be reading this unless you were dissatisfied with some part of your life.

At the very least, you're curious about what else might be out there that you haven't explored yet.

Maybe you’re after money, love, and better health. Or maybe you're just bored and you want more challenges and excitement.

I hope you're not like I was, searching without even knowing what you're searching for. But whatever it is, we're going to get you on the right track right now.

Get yourself a sheet of paper and write down a wish list.

Everything you want should be on this list, from the specific name of the person you wish you were dating, to the trip to Asia you wish you had the time and money to take.

Don’t forget that new pair of shoes, the Fender Stratocaster you’ve been dreaming about, and the exact meal you wish you had on a plate right in front of you at this very moment.

Just put it all there, a big healthy wishing dump. A deep dive into your deepest desires.

Take your time and make it a long list.

Got it? All right.  Now let's fight against the grain for a moment.

Attainable Things vs. Desirable Experiences

Some of these things that you want, especially the material things, you could probably get pretty quickly. All you need is a phone and a credit card. Or when it really comes down to it, you could take a second job.

 Ignore those attainable wishes for now.

But when you see something  on your list that seems a little bit harder to get, draw a circle around it.

Now look at the items you circled and separate those out into things and experiences.

You should be much more interested in the experiences.

An experience is one of the least practical things to wish for, it's often the most underrated, and it's nearly always the most valuable. Like learning French or earning your blackbelt.

Make a new list of just the experiences you circled. You just created a bucket list, and if you let that list guide you for the next ten years of your life it will lead you to love, money, wisdom, and happiness. 

But just to make sure it’s authentic, read each experience on your list out loud. Pay attention to which item resonates with you the most. You’ll feel it in your gut.

Don't worry about whether or not the winning experience is practical. If it's coming from your heart, it's going to turn out to be immensely practical in ways you can't even imagine.

The Power of Commitment

Now it’s time to become coldly, meticulously practical about achieving your heartfelt, impractical goal.

Commit to doing this one thing and having this experience. Commit to doing it by an exact date, and I'll tell you why.

For many years my big bucket list item was to ride a bicycle along the entire route of the Appian Way from Rome to brindisi. I talk about this a lot but there's something I don't usually tell people.

The truth is, this bike tour was at the top of my list for seven years before I finally got up and did it.

During those years, I thought about it a lot. I always wanted to do it but it wasn't committed to it. Once I committed to doing it and set a deadline, it was easy to make it happen.

A deadline turns the “someday” that never arrives into the inevitable “next week.”

Working from the Deadline

In order to have your experience within the next 12 months, what do you have to accomplish in the next six months? Make a list of everything you need to do.

 Got it? Excellent!

Now, in order to get there in six months what do you have to do in the next three months?

You see where this is going.

To get to where you need to be in three months, what do you have to accomplish in the next 30 days? And to do that, what do you have to get done this week?

What needs to happen today?

Do one task today, no matter how small, and you'll set the pebble in motion that will eventually trigger an avalanche.

If you want to learn French, get yourself a phrase book or sign up for a course today. Then warm up a baguette and sit down to enjoy your first lesson.

How Adventurous Experiences Make You Rich

You don't need to ride your bike across a foreign country. Maybe for you the big experience is to learn how to play the bass, or take up fly fishing, or learn French.

One thing I can tell you is that it's going to help you in ways you never would have imagined.

By following your heart, you'll become happier and more satisfied with yourself as a person. This will make it easier for you to meet new people and have deeper relationships.

That includes anyone you date now or in the future, and possibly the love of your life.

Your newfound confidence and social skills will be immensely helpful when it comes to situations such as job interviews, sales presentations, and board meetings.

In other words, you're going to make more money because you finally committed to earning your blackbelt or learning French.

When you start giving yourself these greatly desired adventures, you feel motivated to take better care of your body because you want the mobility, health, and energy to have more experiences like this.

Exercise becomes as important and routine as brushing your teeth because you see your body as a vehicle that's going to take you on amazing journeys as long as you remember to change the oil and keep the tires pressurized.

The Fate of the Dew Drops

I spent more than ten years doing really impractical things because I craved the experiences behind them.

This choice led to some hardship in my 30s and 40s, but in the long term it paid off.

That musical I mentioned led me to meet a traveler who ultimately inspired me to go to Italy.

That journey through Italy gave me a level of clarity that I hadn't had never had before, and within a year of biking the Appian Way I met the woman who is now my wife.

Whenever you feel driven and called to do something, even if it’s ridiculously impractical, find a way to make it happen.

We're meant to have lots of rich experiences in our lives. You’ve only got a handful of decades left, which is a lot in terms of what you can do but it's very little in terms of the time scale of the universe.

You might just be a drop of dew on a blade of grass.

But if you embrace the heroic idea that you are an adventurer on an important journey, then that drop of dew will shimmer and sparkle like a diamond in the sun before it evaporates.

Tool of the Week: Your Next Quest

1. Make a long list of all your wishes.

2. Circle the ones that are hardest to attain.

3. Separate the circled wishes into Experiences and Things.

4. Read each of the experiences out loud.

5. Choose the experience that resonates with you the most. Take the needed steps to actually have that experience.

That wraps it up for this week.

If you’re enjoying these rants, lessons, and tools, I would love to hear from you.

If you’re not, I would like to hear from you even more.

Reply to this email and tell me what you think, what you’d like to see in the future, or just to drop me a line about your cat.

I don’t always have the time to reply to your message, but I read every one of them.

Jacob