Congruent Behavior: The Ultimate Superpower

TL; DR: There are literally thousands of ways to get anything you want. You can have, achieve, or experience anything you want. If you don’t yet have what you want, it’s because you’re not behaving in a way that will make it happen. Let’s fix that.

If you don’t yet have what you want, consider these three uncomfortable truths.

1. You are perfectly capable of having anything you want. There are literally thousands of ways to make money, attract love, or build muscle.

2. If you don’t yet have what you want, start acting like you want it.

3. You’ll get what you never had by doing something you’ve never done.

I'll give you an example.

A lot of people dream about buying land and living out in the country, but 95% of them just dream and don't actually do it.

My wife and I did it, and we're surrounded by friends and neighbors who have also done it.

Now, I’m not special in any way. In fact, just two years before we bought this beautiful property across the road from a state park, I lost my job and ran up a five-figure credit card debt.

So how did I get from that to this?

I’ve already given you the first secret. Remember those three truths.

My wife and I got this land because we did some things we had never done before.

We had to think differently about our lifestyle, ways of making money, and putting together a deal and an offer.

The first time we took a road trip to look at properties, I brought along a journal where I was busy brainstorming ideas on how I was going to pay for everything.

We behaved as if we really wanted this, and we embraced the idea that it was possible.

Anything is Possible

When you accept these three truths, you can have a home in the country or anything else you want. But you have to be willing to face the unknown.

This is why embracing adventure is so critical to your growth, your progress and your happiness.

You have to commit and tell yourself, “I'm going to try this, I'm just going to go for it. I'm going to learn this new thing.

I'm going to make that phone call.

I'm going to talk to that person.

I'm going to do that audition.

I'm going to start that business.

I'm going to read that book, take that class, build that website.

This is adventure. It’s a leap into the unknown, where you're applying your best skills to acquire new skills and try new things.

And human beings are built for this.

For 97% of human history, we were hunter gatherers.

Every day we were out there fishing and climbing trees, hiking long distances through the wilderness, building shelters and making tools and doing all the stuff that we think of as adventure today.

And that was our normal, day-to-day life.

And that should still be normal because we're wired for it. In fact, there are parts of the brain that respond to novelty in dramatic ways.

When you try out something new, you’re rewarded with dopamine and other neurotransmitters that make you feel good, make you pay more attention, make you more resilient, and actually make you a little bit sharper and more creative.

I learned this the first time I went on a bike tour. Things constantly went wrong, but I kept coming up with all these creative ideas to fix every problem.

I found places to sleep when a campground wasn’t available. I communicated after I lost my phone. I repaired my bike using wires and bottle caps and other junk that I found on the ground.

When you embrace adventure, which is your birthright as a human being, you're going to be astounded at how resourceful and innovative you are. You’ll tap into the power to change your life.

You can probably think of at least one time where you wanted to make something happen, solve a problem, or persuade someone to do something. And you figured it out.

In fact, if you look at everything useful and good in your life, from the people you love to the screen you’re reading this on, all of it was possible because at some point in time, you or someone else had an idea and carried it out.

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result, then sanity is trying different things until you get the result you want.

Putting the Three Truths into Practice

I’m giving you a lot of theory, but let’s look at how you can make this work in the real world.

The ultimate secret to any kind of success is what I call congruent behavior. Your actions have to be congruent with what you want, or you’re not going to get what you want.

For example, if you want to be a billionaire, you have to constantly brainstorm new product and business ideas.

Read books and listen to podcasts about sales, marketing, and entrepreneurship.

Cut your expenses so you can save money to invest in those ideas.

If you want to find your soulmate, or date a lot of different people, you have to work on your physical and mental health so you can feel more attractive.

You have to go out and have lots of conversations so you can start feeling more comfortable when you talk with someone you’re attracted to.

You have to get raw and real in your journaling and reflection, so you understand your emotions and you’re able to express them in healthy ways.

If you want to be a bestselling author, you write every single day, even if you’re a struggling single parent and you only have time to jot down a few ideas while you’re at the laundromat waiting for your clothes to dry.

You share your work with smart, honest people and you accept their critiques with an open mind.

And you learn everything you can about the different options you have for publishing your book.

Whether you want to find love, to secure fame and glory, or start a business, there are literally a thousand actions you can take that will help get you there.

And all you have to do is behave in a way that’s consistent with what you want. Start acting like someone who will get it.

So here’s a critical question to ponder:

What would you do today, tomorrow, and every day if you really wanted what you say you want? How can you act as if you want it?

The Hardest Truth

The hardest truth to face isn’t that you’re too old, too young, not smart enough, not good enough.

The hardest truth is that you are capable of having, learning, experiencing anything you truly want.

This truth is hard because it’s a responsibility. Take responsibility for the fact you can create anything you want deeply enough.

This isn’t a pleasant feeling at all.

If you really get it, you’re going to feel guilt and shame and embarrassment over the way you’ve cheated yourself up to this point.

You might feel daunted by the challenge when you understand what you have to do.

But you’ll also feel powerful, maybe more powerful than you ever have before.

Try This Simple Exercise

I give my Changing the WIND students nine tools to help you uncover what you really want, build a plan of action to make it happen, and break through the fears and other obstacles that stand in your way.

If you’re interested, there should be a link to the program somewhere near the top or the bottom of this letter. But for now, let’s do a simple exercise.

Get out some paper and make a wish list of everything you want to do, have, become, or experience in your life.

Write out all the details, down to the clothes you want to wear, an exact description of the partner you're looking for, the job you want, or the kind of lifestyle you want to have.

Write it all in the present tense, as if it’s already happening right here and now.

Write about what your favorite day looks like from the time you get up to the time you go to bed and how you feel and everything you do during that day.

Write about the places you want to go and how you want to travel there. Do you want to fly there, drive, ride your bike, or take cruise ship?  

Write what you’re doing when you're there. The sites you see, the people you interact with, and the food you're eating.

Your wish list should also include more immediate goals, like car repairs or the new color you want to paint your bedroom.

Just go crazy.

Make a wish list of everything, and then pick one thing on that list that you want most of all.

Now sit with that one wish for a little bit. Visualize all the vivid details of how it looks. Feel what it feels like to have that.

And now, start thinking about how you can get it.

What could you do to make this happen?

Depending on what you want, the timeline will be different, but what would it take to make this happen in one month or six months, or in a year or five years or ten years?

Could a random encounter at a coffee shop or a thoughtful email sent to the right person enable you to have it all tomorrow?

Think of all the steps you'd have to go through. A lot of those steps are probably things you've never done before, or you would already have your wish.

Now pick a step that you can carry out in the next 24 hours.  Preferably something you’ve never done before. We’re trying to stretch here, to move from thoughts to deeds. Do what you’ve never done to gain what you’ve never had.

Remember that you are fully capable of creating what you really want. You can get anything you want if you start acting as if you want it.

Tool of the Week: Congruent Behavior

1. Make a list of everything you want to have, to be, to do

2. Choose one big goal from that list and write down everything you would have to do to make it happen

3. Circle or highlight all the actions from step 2 that you’ve never done before

4. Carry out at least one of the actions on your list every day, but always give priority to the highlighted, unknown actions

That wraps it up for this week.

If you’re enjoying these rants, lessons, and tools, I would love to hear from you.

If you’re not, I would like to hear from you even more.

Reply to this email and tell me what you think, what you’d like to see in the future, or just to drop me a line about your cat.

I don’t always have the time to reply to your message, but I read every one of them.

Jacob